A friend of mine offered me her help with the film. She works on parenting and accompanying children as well and has a son at the same age of my oldest son. When she arrives for our meetup, she shares that her son asked her if he would be in the film. When she tells me that, the earth stands still for me ¬†for a moment, and I realise that the children for this film come to me (and I do not have to go after them). The children already know, the film is already there. I ‘only’ have to let it ‘become’. But what a difficult job is that! A step I can take in this ‘becoming’ is meeting this child and connect with him.

A few months later I meet my friend and her son at his school. My friend has a light concussion and can therefore not play with him in the playground. This was a good opportunity for her to introduce me as someone he could play with. After showing me his school the child takes me to a climbing frame at the playground next to his school. I follow him from climbing frame to slide, to zip line to a swing we fit in together. I push my boundaries several times by jumping of the top of the slide and letting him push me while laying on the swing. I see the top of some trees and a blue sky above me, moving. I feel carried by life and full of joy. What a gift the presence we give to each other.

This experience would be a beautiful film fragment, a pure connection to share. But how can I be in this present moment with a child and film it simultaneously? And it feels so vulnerable in its purity.

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